I was retracing the steps …
The knot in the pit of my stomach grew as I got closer. Even though you would not be there, my every moment would be yours. There was nowhere in the city we had not been together, nowhere that didn’t bring me back to you.
Memorials to us on the mountain.
Reminders of us at the ocean.
The times we spent in each others company.
The times when nothing else mattered.
When we were together time stopped.
Feeling complete is something we spend our lives trying to attain, so what does one do when one has tasted ‘completeness’ and then has to let it go. How do you live this life knowing how it could be? How it should be?
Every minute in this city is a firefly in the darkness of what ‘us’ has become. Where do you run from your own heart?
I wish you beauty beloved, I wish you beauty and in those difficult moments when the lump in your throat begins to rise I wish you ease.
I wish you calm beloved when the pain makes your heart race and I wish you hope beloved, the hope that comes with knowing there are pieces of heaven on earth and when it feels like despair has triumphed those pieces of heaven often find their way into the light.
But most of all beloved I wish you love for without it there is nothing.