(For Nuraan & Howling Lamb)
I’m certain that love has taken far more casualties than all the wars that have been waged on earth collectively. The tragedy is that love takes no hostages and hardly ever kills. And so the broken hearted masses, keep their suffering within and trudge on into everyday life putting on a brave face.
The strange part is that as bigoted as the world we live in is, heartbreak never discriminates. I have watched friends writhing in pain caused by unrequited love and heard recounts of people who have made the ultimate sacrifice and walked away from the only thing that had ever given their lives real meaning or true happiness. I want to wave a wand and miraculously fix it. The truth is that it will never be ok because we never actually recover. Our minds may move on but the heart always knows exactly where it belongs.
So today I salute the martyrs of the heart and I guess the real lesson to be learnt is that: pain also has its beauty.
12 comments:
Oh Geez...thanks hey...and here I thought my black dead heart may have a chance to beat again one day in the future... :D
I'm so depressed now...
To those of us that go on trudging through life go forth knowing that true love will someday re-enter your heart... or at least I hope so
“He that can have patience, can have what he will”
Benjamin Franklin
I know what you mean.. it actually makes sense because I believe that without one thing you can never know the other..
this is proven by the saying that tis better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all.. if you lose your love, it hurts like nothing else can, but the memory of that love and that feeling when you still had it is powerful and can get you through a lot of things.
Very nice post. thank you.
Cheers..
Thank you Desert Demon. I know Anonymous / Benjamin Franklin that you mean well but may I ask
How many songs do I have to endure
Before I hear the song of my love
Breathe life into my lost soul?
How many times do I have to reach out
Before I see my love
Run into my arms?
How many more times will I have to bathe alone
In the ocean of despair and heartache
Before I see my love swim towards me?
How many times do I have to dance alone
To the memory of our loving
Before I dance with my love?
How many more times must I drift asleep
Before I wake up to find
My love sheltering once again
in the oasis of my arms?
Answer me that, Benjamin!
Howling Lamb
Benjamin is impressed by these true words, I have no doubt.
All i can say from experience is feel the pain but do not let despair engulf your soul... Your moment will come and usually when you least expect it.
“Vow to be valiant;
Resolve to be radiant;
Determine to be dynamic;
Strive to be sincere;
Aspire to be attuned.”
William Arthur Ward
DD - fantastic post! Pain indeed has beauty in it! Sometimes i think that those of us who have writhed in the pain of love are more addicted to the pain than we are to the euphoria of love.
Word of caution to the lamb: Best you stop your howling or risk being dragged off to the slaughterhouse - it is that time of year afterall! But i'm guessing your response would be that you'd welcome it and that it would put an end to your agony. Perhaps a name change to sacrificial lamb would be in order. If all the morbid wallowing in self-pity poetry is meant to deliver you from this pain, or maybe draw the chicks, you'll probably line up those who have munchausens. Good luck with overcoming the heartache. Been there, done that, burnt the t-shirt! The best advice I can give is have faith in the powers that be and in yourself. No person who inflicts pain on you is meant to be your soulmate. If you really love her, you will respect her decision. Sadly everybody hurts. Its how YOU handle the hurt that makes a difference. Sorry if this sounds harsh but I don't pity people. I believe that if you want a change in your life, you have to effect it and only you have the power to decide when the pain ends - the questions you pose here can only be answered by you!
Xena
i simply loved reading this. makes me want to write dark semi-deluded poetry and sip dry lemon on a rainy day :)
Thanks to comments appreciating the post.
To Howling Lamb - May u overcome your pain and move on.
Anon 1 - That is good advice, not to let the despair engulf your soul.
Xena - In tru warrior princess style. If only we could all be as strong. But everyone deals with loss of love in their own way.
Anon 2 - I don't run a dog pound where i need to leash people. Xena is entitled to her opinion, as is everyone who reads this blog, and knowing her, she'd probably break free of the leash. If you don't agree with her, you are welcome to express yourself but please refrain from being abusive on a personal level. It is unacceptable on my blog and therefore your comment has been removed.
Hi again Desert Demons. I just wanted to pay tribute to your insights once again on unrequited love. Your observations on the beauty of pain remind of Maud Gonne's attempts to console WB Yeats by her telling him that he should appreciate her influence on his life because the misery she has caused him has inspired his wonderful Nobel-prize winning poetry!
I would like to thank the anonymous Zena for her beautiful contradictions. I presume you are not in the queue to seduce me with your munchausens! You sound really interesting, despite your lack of sympathy. What you dismiss as "morbid wallowing in self pity poetry" could be seen from another perspective as honest poetry from the heart of a man who refuses to take refuge in lies. I would be deceiving myself if I said that the love of my life was not worth my love and admiration. I would be untrue to myself if I said that she is just one of a billion females. It would be easy to deceive others. I do it every day. It is impossible to deceive myself. Acknowledging my pain takes courage. It is not wallowing in self pity. It is being brave enough to know that I suffer and it is insightful to know why I suffer and it is prophetic enough to know that I will suffer until I draw my last breath. That's purity of love, not self pity. As you said, it's how I handle the hurt that matters. I handle it by acknowledging its eternal presence in my heart and soul. I make no apologies for not taking the usual macho attitude of there are thousands of better women out there. I met the woman who was best for me and I will never change my opinion. Burning the teeshirt will not eliminate her influence on my life. I don't want your pity, Zena or anybody's pity. I know your advice is very practical but I don't have the power to decide when the pain ends. It's not going to end. Some people meet the love of their life and stay with them for ever. Some people meet the love of their lives and stay with them for a short while. Some people never meet the love of their lives. I am in the second category, luckier than those in the third category, not as fortunate as those in the first.
I have faith in myself but I am not very pleased by "the powers that be". And loving her and respecting her decision are totally unconnected. Respecting a decision doesn't mean I agree with it. It's just that. A decision. A fait accompli. I have missed out on the most wonderful woman I have ever met and there's nothing I can do about it. I missed the boat and I will never be happy. She wasn't a tee shirt that I could burn in a smug self satisfying exorcistic narcissistic liberating bunny boiling ritual. She was the most special person in the universe and there's no getting over her. That's not self pity. That's honesty from my heart.
To Desert Demon: I have moved on but there is no overcoming the pain. C'est la vie. C'est l'amour.
My howling is not a morbid self pitying scream but my serenade for my lost love.
Thank you all, especially Zena, for your efforts to console but there is no consolation. Even though the loss of my love is not funny I really enjoyed your comments, Zena. You sound like great fun. Thanks!
Serenading Lamb
Dear Howler:
I don't have munchausens and my exceptional seduction skills are reserved for a selct few.I'm not fun! I'm a nacissistic beyatch (as the deleted comment suggested - but I would gorge his eyes out for saying so!)
Xena
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